CrazyCow

shutupaubrey:

hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital

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thexfiles:

Anxiety: look out
me: for what
Anxiety: look out

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socio-flower:

I guess you could say she’s…CLUSTER B

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cakelikeowen:

openlysinning:
electricsed:
becausebirds:
Yawning pelican. [imgur]
that’s so unnecessary for a bird that is already 400% ridiculous
What the fuck is this
When someone touches the back of your neck

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partybarackisinthehousetonight:

*releases pack of dads into home depot* go……be free

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Me: okay brain, don't freak out, but we've come across a minor inconvenience
My shit brain, dousing itself in gasoline: unfortunate,

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rexuality:

if you see me laughing while texting there’s a 99.9% chance i’m laughing at a text message i sent because i’m equal parts vain and hilarious

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fxckaurl:

me: *is bitter but is also right*

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the-yolocaust:

when u hear your favorite band in public

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zenis:

wet dream: being financially secure with a career i enjoy

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